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Pig Squeel and the Mead of Kings; Johna tries his hoof at bedtime stories.
Topic Started: May 28 2012, 05:53 PM (634 Views)
yew
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"I wonder what the Princess is gonna feel once she finds out he killed her daddy the Sultan." Flight Risk gasped, totally intrigued by this turn of events. Shocking that anyone had dared mess with the Sultan's daughter, even if they were only the Ex-Sultan's daughter.

Jewels looked at Johnagold. Greeaaaat. She'd been brought into the story. "I imagine those were her possible suitors that her father was trying to match her up with before he was killed. They probably still wanted her to be one of their brides. Even the daughter of a past Sultan is worth something in the pedigree." The Sultan was dead. Just like the Grand Hurricane, her cousin.
Jewels//Pegasus//Mare
Flight Risk//Earth Pony//Colt
Mystique//Earth Pony//Female
Princess Jasmine//Dragon//Mare
Lovecraft//Alikirin//Doe
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JM95
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Carnivorous Herbivore
Johnagold chuckled and said to Flight Risk, "You'll find out, don't worry. And Julie, those ponies hittin' on the princess coulda been suitors. Ah doubt Pig Squeel woulda cared, though. He just saw them bein' disrespectful 'round her, so he went ahead and did somethin' 'bout it."

There they were at Honeycomb Mountain. It was like a giant beehive, swarmin' with tons of nasty lookin' varmints called Bee Warriors. The Bee Warriors kinda looked like bees, but bigger and carryin' all sorts of mighty blades. Pig Squeel played a riff on Fjordbucker to announce that he had arrived at his destination. After that, Princess Gemstones walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Ah couldn't help but notice," said the princess, "But is that mah pa's turban you're wearin'?"

"Pfffft. No," lied Pig Squeel as he took off the turban and put it back into his saddlebag. He put his normal helmet back on and hoped the princess wouldn't mention that again. The princess gave him a dirty look as the four adventurers made their way to the mountain. They walked a little ways, and saw that the door to the inside of the mountain was locked. Pig Squeel tried to smash the door down, but it didn't work. Mr. Goat turned into an ox and tried to help out, but the door still wouldn't budge. Princess Gemstones even tried to sit around and look purty for the door, but all she got from that was, y'all know, nothin'.

Everypony noticed that Danger Zone had disappeared. But with his disappearance, the door finally opened. Soon, they saw him crawlin' out from a little tunnel next to the door that only a foal could fit through.

"There was a button just down this here tunnel," said the foal, glowing with pride. "Ah can't believe y'all didn't notice it. There was neon lights pointin' to it and everythin'."

Pig Squeel readied Fjordbucker and rallied his companions next to him. "Now we go through the door," said Pig Squeel. "The Mead of Kings awaits..."

Johnagold||Earth Pony||Stallion and daughter Ginger Gold//Unicorn//Filly
Heinrich||Unicorn||Stallion
The Colonel||Unicorn||Stallion
Jess//Diamond Dog//Female
Shikataro//Unikirin//Buck
Spring Blossom//Earth Pony//Mare
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yew
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"Cause I'm awesome like that." He said, puffing his chest out like Danger Zone had done in the story. Flight Risk wondered what part his mum would play in the story. So far she hadn't done much except look pretty. That would be sad to just have her look pretty. Flight Risk knew she was capable of so much more than that. He was looking forward to the development with her catching onto the whole father-slaying thing.
Jewels//Pegasus//Mare
Flight Risk//Earth Pony//Colt
Mystique//Earth Pony//Female
Princess Jasmine//Dragon//Mare
Lovecraft//Alikirin//Doe
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JM95
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Carnivorous Herbivore
So all of them walked into the caverns of the mountain. There was weird honeycombs all over the walls, and the Bee Warriors were all hidin' in them, plannin' an ambush. There was also honey drippin' all over the place, the same exact honey used to make the Mead of Kings.

Pig Squeel was walkin' behind Princess Gemstones when all of a sudden, a Bee Warrior popped out of his honeycomb. As soon as the princess drew her scimitar, the Bee Warrior collapsed, its insect guts all fallin' out and an electric current runnin' through its remains. Now, the princess wasn't as much of a wuss as everypony had thought. She was purty deadly with that electric scimitar of hers and all. The Bee Warriors began pourin' out of their honeycombs and swarmin' the adventurers.

Pig Squeel cut off one of the warrior's heads with Fjordbucker. "DECAPITATIOOOOOON!" he sang out loud.

Mr. Goat had become a lion and was doin' a real good job of knockin' some Bee Warrior heads together. Alongside him stood Danger Zone, blastin' the varmints with his nuclear waste mutated laser eyes.

But the pony who was really kickin' flank in this battle was Princess Gemstones. She was like, buckin' awesome. She was leavin' a huge path of fried electrocuted bees wherever she went. Pig Squeel was impressed. He didn't even need to play any solos or anythin'. Princess Gemstones was doin' most of the work.

So our four heroes fought their way up the mountain, slashin', blastin', brawlin', and rockin' until they finally found the Mead of Kings. However, there was one last challenge they had to face: Wubsticiar, the Guardian of Dubstep.
Johnagold||Earth Pony||Stallion and daughter Ginger Gold//Unicorn//Filly
Heinrich||Unicorn||Stallion
The Colonel||Unicorn||Stallion
Jess//Diamond Dog//Female
Shikataro//Unikirin//Buck
Spring Blossom//Earth Pony//Mare
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yew
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"Did they eat any honey along the way? I get that would make them extra strong." Flight Risk suggested. After all, it was an ingredient to some immortal potion of mead. It had to have some properties that would help them defeat the Dubstep dude. He elbowed his mother at mention of the electric scimitars, nodding happily. That was his mother alright. Jewels just grunted.
Jewels//Pegasus//Mare
Flight Risk//Earth Pony//Colt
Mystique//Earth Pony//Female
Princess Jasmine//Dragon//Mare
Lovecraft//Alikirin//Doe
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JM95
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Carnivorous Herbivore
"Naw, they didn't eat no honey," replied Johnagold. "It was filled with gravel and cave-slime, so it wasn't exactly edible unless they cleaned it first. So they didn't eat none."

The great dragon Wubsticiar was huge, like the size the Ponyville dam, and he was black with neon blue spikes runnin' down his back from his neck to his tail. Instead of breathin' fire, he had bass breath. He was flyin' 'round all angrily, 'cause he could sense a threat to the Mead of Kings.

"This may be our final battle, y'all," said Pig Squeel. "In preparation for our deaths, we should make our final confessions. Ah'll go first. Princess Gemstones, Ah killed your father 'cause he pushed me down a flight of stairs, and that's why Ah have his turban."

The Princess was really ticked at him. "You did WHAT?" she shrieked, "And all 'cause he pushed you down the stairs?"

The princess's angry shoutin' caused Wubsticiar to fly back down to the mountain. He landed right in front of the group. Our heroes bravely charged him, but he dropped his bass all over them. Pig Squeel jumped out of the way of the sound waves, which sounded somethin' like a toilet and a blender's unholy offspring, but the other three couldn't react in time. They were killed and sent collapsin' on the ground from the powerful attack.

Pig Squeel was distraught. He tried nudgin' them so they'd all wake up, but it was no use.

"AHAHAHAHA!" laughed Wubsticiar. "Nothin' can overpower the heavy bass! Not even the great Pig Squeel and his little friends!"

Pig Squeel walked up behind Wubsticiar and shouted, "You're wrong, Wubsticiar! Ah'm still alive, and there is one thang that in fact can defeat your heavy bass. It's called...HEAVY METAL!"

Pig Squeel started playin' a wailin' solo on Fjordbucker. The dragon just stared at him in awe, 'cause the power of rock kinda does that sorta thang to y'all. The Gods of Metal heard it, and they brandished their guitars and started playin', too. The sheer power of this powerful guitar-playin' smashed ten universes all together, and the energy from the universe-smashin' created a great beam from the heavens. The beam burned Wubsticiar into a pile of ashes, and now the Mead of Kings was unguarded. But before Pig Squeel could drink the mead, he would have to make a very impor'ant choice...
Johnagold||Earth Pony||Stallion and daughter Ginger Gold//Unicorn//Filly
Heinrich||Unicorn||Stallion
The Colonel||Unicorn||Stallion
Jess//Diamond Dog//Female
Shikataro//Unikirin//Buck
Spring Blossom//Earth Pony//Mare
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yew
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Flight Risk was sad to hear that they had died. He had his mother and Goaty were all dead. It was just the story, but it was sad to see that they were dead. Jewels was surprised as well that the story had turned out in such a manner, and looked at Johnagold, waiting for the next part of the story.
Jewels//Pegasus//Mare
Flight Risk//Earth Pony//Colt
Mystique//Earth Pony//Female
Princess Jasmine//Dragon//Mare
Lovecraft//Alikirin//Doe
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JM95
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Carnivorous Herbivore
Pig Squeel could finally get the Mead of Kings, but he just couldn't drink it. All of his friends were dead, and that was makin' him way too depressed. But Pig Squeel got an idea. He took the Mead of Kings and gave a third of it to Mr. Goat. He gave Mr. Goat a light slap, just enough to wake him up. Mr. Goat woke up from bein' dead, sayin', "What happened?"

"The Mead of Kings happens to revive the dead, too, not just grant immortality. You were dead, Mr. Goat," replied Pig Squeel. The second third of the mead went to Danger Zone. He gave the foal a slight nudge, wakin' him up, too.

"Huh?" asked Danger Zone, stretchin' out his little mutated bug wings. Pig Squeel then went ahead and gave the rest of the mead to Princess Gemstones. Instead of pokin' or slappin' her like he did with the other two, he...well, he kissed her. Right on the lips. A few seconds later, Pig Squeel felt a massive kick in his tenders. The princess pushed him off of her.

"What do you think you're doin', you pervert?" she shrieked at Pig Squeel. "Wait...Ah'm alive." The princess looked around nervously for a few seconds, but then she turned around and hugged Pig Squeel.

"Maybe you ain't so bad, after all," she said as she hugged the Vikin' warrior. The four adventurers rejoiced, but were soon innerupted by the Gods of Metal.

"Pig Squeel," said the Gods' boomin' voices, "Today you have shown everypony the impor'ance of thinkin' of others rather than yourself. Instead of takin' the Mead of Kings for yourself, you gave it to your friends, who would of been gone forever without it. You may not be immortal now, but your great deed must be rewarded. From this day forward, Pig Squeel, you will become a God of Metal."

And so, Pig Squeel became one of the Gods of Metal. He stayed in the mortal world, despite his newly granted immortality that comes with bein' a god, and his friends sorta became his adopted family. They say that Pig Squeel and his friends still walk 'round the world today, and to find them, you just gotta look in the right places. The end.
Johnagold||Earth Pony||Stallion and daughter Ginger Gold//Unicorn//Filly
Heinrich||Unicorn||Stallion
The Colonel||Unicorn||Stallion
Jess//Diamond Dog//Female
Shikataro//Unikirin//Buck
Spring Blossom//Earth Pony//Mare
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yew
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"Damn right she did that." Jewels snickered. That sounded just about right by her reckoning. Flight Risk let out a loud yowl of cheer. All alive, happy ending. And everything.
Jewels//Pegasus//Mare
Flight Risk//Earth Pony//Colt
Mystique//Earth Pony//Female
Princess Jasmine//Dragon//Mare
Lovecraft//Alikirin//Doe
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JM95
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Carnivorous Herbivore
Johnagold smiled at the two ponies laying in the bed and patted Flight Risk on the head.

"Glad y'all liked the story," said Johnagold as he wiped his brow. "Ah'm exhausted. Ah really need to be gettin' some shuteye if Ah'm gonna help Granny with countin' up inventory tomorrow. 'Night, y'all."

Johnagold shut off the light in the room and made his way to his own.
Johnagold||Earth Pony||Stallion and daughter Ginger Gold//Unicorn//Filly
Heinrich||Unicorn||Stallion
The Colonel||Unicorn||Stallion
Jess//Diamond Dog//Female
Shikataro//Unikirin//Buck
Spring Blossom//Earth Pony//Mare
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